


For Sentimental Reasons

by kissedxbyxfire



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Biting, Blow Jobs, Bottom Steve Rogers, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Feelings, Hair Pulling, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Pet Names, Possessive Bucky Barnes, Possessive Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Praise Kink, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Skinny Steve Rogers, Top Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Bucky, issues with guilt and loss, shrinkyclinks, skinnywinter, sort of background clintasha, steve is temporarily "normal" sized
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-05 15:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3124667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissedxbyxfire/pseuds/kissedxbyxfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve comes back from a mission and it's obvious something went wrong. Something went horribly wrong, it's written all over Steve's face, he's pissed. </p>
<p>And Bucky is so fucking happy.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Steve is temporarily not so tall and muscular. After a mission Steve comes back looking like he did before the war, and Bucky is very excited about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons by Nat King Cole
> 
> I love you for sentimental reasons  
> I hope you do believe me  
> I'll give you my heart  
> I love you and you alone were meant for me  
> Please give your loving heart to me  
> And say we'll never part

Steve was out on a call, something small, him and Natasha being the first to respond. Bucky had made plans to go have lunch with Steve when the call came through so he's glad to find that the situation was taken care of a lot faster than he thought. 

He's making his was down to what could be described as a sort of team locker room when he sees Natasha walk out.

She's already changed out of her Black Widow suit and into tight jeans, a dark green lightweight coat and deep brown boots that somehow don't make a sound as she walks along the tiled floor. 

"How was it?" He asks, a few feet from each other.

"Quick. Easy, in and out." She smirks at him.

His eyes narrow, getting the feeling she fucking with him. They've barely said anything and from looking at her she's not giving anything away so he has nothing to go off of.

He nods.

"You should go get your boy." Still with the smirk, and adds a wink as she continues down the hall. 

_

-

_

He doesn't care how it happened, the why, the where, if it's permanent or not, it doesn't matter.

Steve comes back from a mission and it's obvious something went wrong. Something went horribly wrong, it's written all over Steve's face, he's pissed. 

And Bucky is so fucking happy. 

Something happened, that's for damn sure, because Steve is Steve again. He's shorter, barely has any muscle, no longer has a defined jaw, wearing too big sweats and a loose t-shirt because obviously his Cap suit no longer fit him. Steve's eyebrows are drawn in, lips pressed tightly together, he's scowling. 

There are a few people in the room, keeping busy with putting different weapons in order but rushing to leave. It's a bit odd to see agents now much bigger than Steve actually be avoiding him. Sure, Steve's an all around nice person but people can still be a little weary of him, and somehow it's more-so without the super soldier build of Captain America. 

Steve isn't even paying anyone any attention. He's keeping to himself and putting his gear away. Bucky just watches him, he's buzzing in his skin, heart racing. He's grinning, like he hasn't in a long time, like he hasn't since before the war. Agents are avoiding him too. What a fucking sight. 

It doesn't take long for Steve to put all his gear away. Bucky doesn't mind waiting, if he gets to look, but he's itching. 

Steve turns and finally sees Bucky. His eyes go wide, like he didn't expect to see Bucky just yet, like he thought he had more time to prepare. When he sees the shit eating grin Bucky can't, won't even try to, wipe off his face, Steve sets his jaw and glares right at him. 

Bucky lets out a laugh, mostly to himself, and makes his way over to Steve. He quickens his pace, not hurriedly but with a fucking purpose. 

Steve balls his fists at his sides, "Buck," a warning, shallow but still curt. 

Bucky's grin turns wolffish as he gets within a few feet of Steve. He quirks an eyebrow, licks his lips.

"Huh-uh, no, don't even think about it." 

Steve breaks. A smile threatening to ruin his built up guard, he takes a few steps back but ends up putting himself against a set of lockers. 

And then Bucky gets to him. He doesn't even say anything, just grips Steve's waist and hoists him up like its nothing. 

Like when they were two outstanding young adults back in Brooklyn, like that time Steve was the only one of them drunk after a night out. 

Bucky would've been stone cold sober, choosing to forgo a drink in favor of letting Steve get a little loose, but he was drunk off Steve. He had lost his job at the grocer after missing days due to a flu, had been beating himself up about it for days so Bucky took him out with what little money they had to spare and told Steve he could use it for drinks. 

Steve's a fucking light weight, just a simple fact, he didn't drink too often but he did that night. Talking Bucky's ear off about everything and nothing, didn't even act at making himself scarce for Bucky's sake, didn't try to get him to dance with a dame because he thought that's what Bucky wanted to do. He had Steve's full attention the whole night. Can't much remember what the hell they talked about, but he remembers how Steve looked. Face flush from the liqueur, lips wet from licking them after he took a drink, eyes bright and a bit glassy. Both fucking lost in each other. 

When they got to the stairs of the apartment Steve held onto the railing to steady himself. He had done fair with walking back from the bar, but he couldn't even get himself on the first step. He kept lifting his foot and completely missing the step or his leg would be up mid way but then he'd wobble and put his foot back on the ground. Bucky was losing it. He'd been standing close to Steve, an arm out just in case Steve lost his balance, but laughing til his eyes watered. Steve kept shushing him, sometimes turned to glare at him before giggling like a damn kid. 

It felt so good to laugh. That Steve felt that good to let go and not think about their shit luck, to just laugh and have a nice night.

After a few minutes Bucky had to reel it in and get Steve up the apparently tricky staircase, it was late and getting chilly, Steve didn't need to get sick again. He wrapped an arm around Steve's waist to help him up but Steve began to protest, saying he didn't need help. Bucky told him he was gonna get it anyway, he picked Steve up and slung him over his shoulder, carrying him up to the apartment. Steve had hit his fists to Bucky's lower back but his limbs were loose and didn't have much force behind them. 

Steve started to run his mouth. Saying 'you know how to treat em real nice,' and 'least you took me out before manhandling me, just like a real and proper gentleman, Buck.' Bucky slapped his thigh, earning a bite to his side from the little shit. 

Bucky's got him back. 

He carries Steve through the garage to get to the elevators, he's smiling like a fool the whole time and he can't seem to care. He's got Steve. 

And the little shit is still running that pretty mouth of his. He's definitely not drunk so his fists do have force behind them when they make contact with Bucky's back, but Steve is laughing. 

He's obviously trying not to laugh but it's not working at all. He's telling Bucky he's a jerk, that he can walk fine on his own, that people are staring. It's true, the few people around are staring but in a way like they're trying not to get caught. He just tells Steve he can't seem to give a shit.

"Yeah, they're staring but ain't gonna do a thing. No one wants to deal with a normal size Captain America with a complex. They just don't know what to do with ya," he laughs, "but I do." 

He's carrying Steve on his left should and with his flesh hand he gives Steve's little ass a firm squeeze.

"And here I thought you were a gentleman." Steve says, trying to swat at Bucky's hand. 

"Oh, I am, don't pretend you think I'm not. What I know is you don't like it gentle."

He just knows Steve is blushing, from fucking head to toe. Steve doesn't say anything, can't deny what they both know is true, he just turns his head and bites down on Bucky's back. 

He hisses at the sudden pain, but it quickly turns to pleasure. 

The elevator doors open and Bucky has a hand on Steve's ass again once they are inside. Steve hums and squirms into the touch, letting go now that they're alone. 

"Now, let me get a good look at ya." Bucky sets Steve down. 

Steve glares at him, doesn't mean much with the corner of his mouth turned up but he crosses his arms.

Bucky whistles as he looks Steve over appreciatively. He has to look down, so odd yet so familiar, it makes his chest warm. 

"First, gotta be serious and you have to be honest, are you ok?"

Steve rolls his eyes, pushing hair off his forehead. "Yeah, Buck, 'm fine. Nothing went wrong except for this," he vaguely motions at himself. "Found out it didn't really even affect the serum when I had to break into a sprint, just look like a runt again."

"Don't do that, Steve." Bucky eyes him seriously.

Steve sighs, "I'm ok, alright?"

"Alright. You gotta tell me how it happened, but later. Right now? I don't fucking care. You tell me you're fine and I'm gonna believe you." He licks his lips. "Damn, Stevie, I missed you." 

Steve's lips turn down a bit at that. 

"Hey, I'm sorry. It's a head trip all over again. You gotta know I love all of you, doesn't matter what decade or what your body looks like. I love all of you, every bit."

Steve smiles, ducks his head. He's biting his lip when he looks back up at Bucky, then says, "I know, Buck. I love you too. No matter the situation, what you look like," he reaches out to lace his long fingers with Bucky's metal ones.

With that, Bucky can't stand not actually touching him like he's meant to. He puts his right hand at the side of Steve's neck, guiding him to tilt his head up. They smile at each other before he leans down to seal their lips together. They kiss soft and slow, Bucky wanting Steve to feel how much he adores him. 

He moves his hands down Steve's sides, squeezing his hips before sliding down and taking a moment to grip Steve's ass, then he gets his hands on the back of his thighs to lift him up and hold him close. Steve wraps his legs around Bucky's hips, hands at his neck.

The elevator opens to their shared floor and Bucky carries Steve to their bedroom. Steve is kissing along Bucky's neck, sighing softly into his skin. Bucky gets chills and squeezes the underside of Steve's thighs to ground himself. The pressure makes Steve whine, he tilts his hips and starts to rock into Bucky's abs. 

Bucky decides they are wearing far too many layers. Stepping into their bedroom he lays Steve down in the middle of the bed and crowds over him. They're close, he can feel Steve's breath against his skin. He closes his eyes to take a moment and let his senses get used to the situation. When he opens his eyes Steve is smiling at him so sweetly. With a sinking feeling in his gut, he thinks about how much he doesn't deserve. He doesn't deserve Steve in any form. 

Bucky's face falls, turning sullen and lost as his eyes trail to stare at a spot through Steve's chest. 

"Hey, come back. It's ok." Steve speaks to him soft and reassuringly as he tucks a hand under Bucky's jaw to tilt his head up.

He meets Steve's eyes, bright blue and clear, he's still smiling up at Bucky so sweet.

Ducking his head, Bucky nuzzles into the crook of Steve's neck. He hates himself for letting this get to him. 

He'd been one of a few people to appreciate Steve before he was Captain America, was lovesick over him, but he was still an asshole. They hadn't been a couple, they couldn't have been. They were sweet on each other though they didn't talk about it, of course, but that didn't stop them from touching under the sheets. Bucky had still gone on dates, kissed dames, sometimes did more than that, after awhile Steve seemed to give up on the possibility. 

Steve had been hung up on Bucky. Told him so while in camp somewhere in Nazi Germany and at the same time told Bucky he was falling for Agent Carter, Peggy. Bucky's insides were all in knots and he was having a shit time coming up with something decent to say. He was an asshole. Before the war he told himself that Steve was going to find a woman who saw him, actually saw him, that Steve would have an arm full of kids with his eyes. He wanted that for Steve, because Steve wanted a family and Bucky could never give him that. He'd all but pushed Steve away. And now that Steve had all that as a real and honest possibility, a sure thing by the way Peggy looked at Steve, and Bucky was bitter. He tried not to be. He had told Steve he was happy for him, and it was true.

He had Steve and didn't keep him, was his own fault for not treating Steve right. He'd truly been happy for Steve and Peggy, he's just torn up about anything having to do with Steve. He kept a safe distance from Steve, could never keep away for good though. But then his fall happened, and Steve's own shortly after. 

The future was all kinds of fucked. It took him awhile to come around when Steve found him after Bucky pulled him from the Potomac, before he nearly killed Steve. There's so much quilt and loss of every sort tangled up inside him. He'd been so tired of it but it had gotten better because of Steve. He hasn't had a fucking melt down, as he calls it, in months but it's not hard to figure what triggered him. 

Steve has been petting his hand through Bucky's hair while he spirals in on himself. He keeps his voice soft and steady, Bucky doesn't really register what he's saying but he's sure it's nice.

Steve is always taking on other peoples burdens on top of his own. Because Steve is a fucking saint. 

Bucky had been so happy when he saw Steve in the locker room. So damn happy to see his Stevie. Nothing is the same, can never be the same, but Steve will always be his. And he's so mad he's ruining it. Had Steve all laid out under him and had to pick that moment to slip up, not anymore, he needs to get his shit together. 

Somehow through his fog they've shifted to sitting up on the bed, his face buried in Steve's bony shoulder. He sits back and forces himself to focus on Steve; his sandy blonde hair, baby blues framed with long lashes, the crook in his nose, his soft pink lips. 

Calming down, he opens his mouth to apologize but Steve stops him.

"Everything is fine, Buck, it's ok." 

They way Steve is looking at him there's no sense in arguing so he cups Steve's face instead and asks, "How'd I get so lucky?"

Steve smiles crookedly and answers, "I was always the lucky one to have you."


	2. Chapter 2

He thinks about fighting Steve on who was lucky to have who but knows Steve wouldn't let him win because he's stubborn as hell and he also knows Steve hates when he talks down about himself. He lets it go and turns his focus to making a better day out of this mess. 

Since he sort of ruined the mood he asks Steve just what happened on the mission, it's been pushing at the back of his mind since he saw him.

Steve sighs, dragging a hand down his face. "Apparently a wizard of some sort decided to test out some new tricks. The police have been after him for awhile but was put on our radar when cameras caught him shapeshifting."

Bucky narrows his eyes. "Shapeshifting? A wizard? Steve, don't bullshit."

Steve laughs. "Yeah, Buck, a fuckin' real wizard. Ain't the future grand?"

It's weird, sometimes they joke about the future, the time they live in now, like Steve hasn't been part of it for a few years or Bucky hadn't been put in suspended animation and woken up a few times throughout the decades when he was ordered to assassinate someone. 

"I guess anything can be real. Weird shit aside, what happened to you? Are you alright? Is this permanent?"

"I was looked over by Starks medical team when Nat and I got back, they did some tests. Didn't find anything from a standard exam. Everything was normal, well" we motions to his body, "except for this." 

Bucky bites his lip nervously. "What does that mean though?"

"How should I know? I look like a damn wizard to you?"

That gets Bucky laughing. "No idea what a wizard is supposed to look like. I'm guessing you don't gotta wear a pointed hat to qualify."

"Don't think so. Anyway, this guy seemed really off his rocker and couldn't give a straight answer about what he did. Now it's a waiting game. Can't get anything coherent out of him until he's sobered up and then a team will go at him."

"Fuck. Seriously? You got zapped by amateur hour? You're damn lucky, Steve."

"Didn't I say I was?"

"Smartass."

"Happen to know you think very highly of my ass, though it is rather small now."

"Fucking hell." Bucky grabs Steve by the waist and sits him in his lap. "Such a punk."

Steve tilts his head down, kissing Bucky softly for a few seconds then nips at Bucky's bottom lip as he pulls away.

"Jerk." He smiles as Bucky makes a small noise of protest. 

Not knowing what exactly happened to Steve or if he will be like this permanently or not doesn't sit well with him, though Steve doesn't know much so he can't be upset with him. He'll have to talk to Stark about the results of any tests they ran, actually, maybe he'll find Pepper. Until then, he has some ideas on how they can occupy themselves.

With Steve in his lap, he turns so Steve on his back and lying under him. Bucky leans in and kisses Steve hungrily. He slides his hands up Steve's arms, moving them above his head, and wraps his hands around Steve's wrists. 

He smiles against Steve's lips, pulls away just enough to see his face. "Can you push me off?" 

Steve pushes against Bucky's hands holding his wrists down against the bed. He moves like its nothing and pushes Bucky so he's sitting up, still straddling Steve's thighs.

They stare at each other wide-eyed for a few seconds before laughing.

"Did you even try?" Steve asks, catching his breath first. 

"Well I obviously wasn't using all my weight but I didn't expect that. What the hell?"

Steve laughs nervously. "I don't know?"

Bucky lets go of Steve's wrists and smiles. "What? You feel sentimental enough to let me carry you around?" 

"No...I mean, sort of? I would've knocked you over for picking me up back then. I didn't even think I could do that now but I didn't exactly try very hard to stop you earlier." 

Bucky smirks but Steve just stares at him, daring him to make a comment about the blush heating his face. 

Instead of teasing him, Bucky leans down to kiss along Steve's neck. He kisses and nips at the sensitive skin until he gets to Steve's ear then whispers lowly, "You want somethin' all you gotta do is ask, sweetheart."

He can practically hear Steve roll his eyes as he groans in irritation. He's acting put off but it's surprising how Steve likes the things he used to hate. He wouldn't put up with Bucky using pet names on him but now he loves it, though he doesn't like it as much when done so in public. They'll even have sex against the wall with Steve's legs wrapped around Bucky's hips and that definitely wouldn't have happened before.

Steve is biting his lip and squirming under Bucky, trying to seem uninterested. Bucky nuzzles into Steve's cheek, breath ghosting against Steve's ear as he whispers, "Come on baby, I can treat you nice." 

He quickly licks a stripe up Steve's neck and then sucks hard right below his ear. Steve's breath hitches at the contact. "Mm, Bucky," he sighs, hands moving to Bucky's hair as he slowly brings his legs up to wrap around the backs of Bucky's thighs. Bucky kisses what is now an impressive hickey and is caught off guard when Steve's uses his legs to pull Bucky closer as he arches up into him at the same time. 

The sudden change makes Bucky latch off Steve's neck. With his hands still in Bucky's hair, Steve tightens the grip and moves Bucky so their mouths are barely touching. Bucky grins wide and opens his mouth to lightly flick Steve's bottom lip with his tongue. Steve narrows his eyes but before he can react Bucky presses their mouths together as he slips his hands under Steve, down to the small of his back, and flips them over. 

With Steve's change from the serum, Bucky's arm, and both of their extensive training they are pretty evenly matched in strength these days. Sometimes they grapple for dominance with anything from kissing to sex; hair pulling, whose tongue is in whose mouth, which of them is straddling the other, pinning wrists down, biting, the difference between sucking dick or having your mouth fucked, topping or bottoming. They both get off on changing it up but more often than not they both know Bucky wants, needs, Steve to fuck him. And Steve is more than happy to give him what he wants, talking sweetly while Bucky keens even when asking for it harder. 

That's with Steve having the build of Captain America, with this change he's not sure what he can take. Even if it seems like Steve still has the same strength, didn't regain any of his previous illnesses, Bucky doesn't want to accidentally hurt him. 

Steve keeps kissing him. He pushes their mouths together, the kissing turning rougher, pulls Bucky's head back by his hair - moaning with his mouth open, nips and sucks on Bucky's bottom lip until it's red and slightly swollen, licks into his mouth to slide their tongues together. Bucky sighs and moans beneath him, both hard against each other, but he keeps his hands at Steve's sides. Bucky hasn't been passive with Steve but he's still weary; keeping his weight off him, turning them so Steve is on top, and not being at all rough with him. 

Steve moves his hands to Bucky's chest, he deepens the kiss and digs his nails in through the shirt fabric before pulling away. He sits his ass on Bucky's erection and moves his hips in small circles. Bucky inhales sharply and bites his lip, his hands lightly squeeze Steve's thighs. They are both still fully clothed but damn does the friction feel nice. 

"C'mon, Buck, thought you knew I didn't like it gentle." Steve pouts, keeping his hips moving.

Bucky lightly squeezes Steve's thighs again as he tilts his hips to push himself up against Steve's ass. "Mm I -" he licks his lips, "I don't wanna hurt you baby." 

"You won't hurt me. Auh - Buck. If it hurts I'll like it. I'll tell you if I don't like somethin'. We set limits a long time ago, remember? I trust you. You trust me, right?"

Steve has his eyes locked with Bucky as he talks. He's smiling but it's soft and his eyes are bright. Bucky knows he's being honest, Steve's a terrible liar. 

He knows Steve's limits and Steve knows his, knows Steve trusts him, but it still feels better to hear that right now. 

"I trust you."

Bucky moves his hands to Steve's hips, pushing the baggy shirt up to touch his skin. Steve smiles and arches his back as he grinds down harder. Bucky pushes Steve's shirt up further, exposing his stomach up to his navel. There's a small trail of light blonde hair that disappears into his sweats. Bucky flattens his palm against Steve's stomach, slowly moving up to his chest and back down. 

Steve grabs the hem of Bucky's shirt and pushes until Bucky leans up and pulls the shirt off. When Bucky settles back on the bed Steve smirks, "Thats better."

He leans in to kiss along Bucky's chest, moving down to take Bucky's nipple between his teeth and flicks his tongue over it. "Fuck," Bucky moans. Steve grinds his hips down as he sucks and nips at Bucky's nipple until it's hard and bright red. As soon as Steve leans back Bucky has a hold on the side of his neck, urging him up, once Steve is close enough Bucky pulls him down for quick heated kiss before hurriedly taking Steve's shirt off. Bucky takes a moment to just look, to appreciate Steve. He loves Steve no matter what he looks like, but this was his. Steve's collar bone and ribs stick out, has a small dip in his middle of his chest, and his stomach is flat but he doesn't have any ab muscles. He's not scary thin, he's slim, he's perfect. Bucky smiles, "Better." 

With his shirt off, Steve doesn't seem nearly as self conscious about this body as he used to be and that only makes Bucky even harder. He sits up and Steve tightly wraps his legs around him as Bucky pulls Steve hair, his head tilting back to bare his neck where Bucky kisses him a few times before sucking on his pulse point. Steve continues to roll his hips, letting out a string of "yes, Buck, auh fuck, baby" between breathy moans.

Bucky slips his thumbs under Steve's waistband and pushes the fabric down a few inches before rolling his palms against Steve's prominent hips bones. His movements interrupt Steve's rhythm and he stills to let Bucky take over, rocking his hips and forth. The push and pull of his palms on Steve's hips make his mind slip to memories of similar nights.

Nights because that's the only time they could really touch each other, back when he was confused about what he felt for Steve, and then when he understood but he couldn't say anything about it. Using pet names, even jokingly, would get him a slap on the arm or back of the head, unless he said it at night. When it was dark out and he could kiss along Steve's body, or when Steve was on top of him, he could be sweet. He'd call Steve baby, sweetheart, angel, he'd say Steve was his. Steve would melt. 

He'd have Steve in his lap, ass snug and warm around Bucky's cock. Steve would ride him or he would hold Steve's hips to slide into him and Bucky could look at everything he adored, every part of Steve. They'd kiss slow and deep or hot and hurried, pull hair, bite and suck marks into each other's skin but nothing got Steve sighing and whimpering so sweetly like when Bucky would call him those pretty names. The only thing better was when Bucky was inside Steve, looking into those baby blues and said "Your mine." 

It's as true now as it was then, he's selfish when it comes to Steve. And what everyone, except for Bucky, doesn't know is that Steve is selfish. Bucky would say Steve was his and Steve would whimper and say yes over and over. Then when they were tangled up in each other and catching their breath Steve would look at him with so much possessiveness, his normally bright blue eyes would be dark and he'd say, "Your mine." And maybe psychologists would say that their type behavior is unhealthy, but he must be a sick fuck because it only made him more needy and his love grow impossibly stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also made up a villain. A maybe drunk/druggy "wizard" and btw *spoiler* I've based them on x-men/mutants. I apologize if it seems too odd. I had a tough time with that point, the cause to Steve's change, and a fucked up villain made it so I could keep skinny!Steve for longer. Nothing makes sense lol just roll with it.
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://kissedbifire.tumblr.com) for more feels


	3. Chapter 3

Steve has latched on to Bucky's neck, kissing and sucking at a spot that will leave him marked for several hours. Meanwhile Bucky holds on to Steve's hips, moving him so they grind against each other. He moves a hand to the back of Steve's pants, slipping passed the waistband to squeeze and massage his ass. Steve, of course, isn't wearing his normal boxer briefs and groans while pushing back against Bucky's hand when he feels skin on skin. 

"Fuck," Bucky groans. "I wanna feel you sweetheart."

Steve nips at the mark he's left on Bucky's neck, making him hiss and dig his fingers into the flesh of Steve's ass to pull him closer. Bucky moves his left hand off Steve's hip to cup his jaw, leading him up so he can fit their lips together. He wants to deepen the kiss but Steve moves away with Bucky chasing him.

Steve laughs and gives him a quick kiss. "You remember I never fucked you before, you were worried I'd have a heart attack or somethin'?"

Bucky sighs and let's himself fall back onto the mattress. "C'mon Stevie, don't give me shit for that right now."

"I'm not complaining, Buck. I just thought...maybe, we could try now?" 

How is he fucking blushing right now? Steve just asked Bucky if he could fuck him and he's got a blush high on his cheeks that's creeping down the side of his neck. Steve looks at Bucky with dark hopeful eyes, biting his lip like he's unsure of Bucky's answer even though Steve has been topping most of time since they started their new relationship.

"Fuck - yes, definitely." Bucky replies too fast, has to clarify. "But...later? I just - I need you here." 

It's hard for him to say, admitting he needs Steve isn't hard, for the most part he's gotten over being guarded and uneasy and can ask for what he wants or needs. He just has this tightening inside him, he needs Steve to need and want him like he used to. And he's not great at remembering but he's gotten so much better. Being with Steve like this has been helping him remember before, it's always been a little fuzzy but now it hurts. Remembering just how much he wanted Steve - that he had him, just not truly. He feels sick about hiding Steve and not talking about whatever they were. What did it mean to Steve that they were friends who occasionally had sex? He can feel how badly he had wanted to tell Steve he loved him. He couldn't say it back then, he almost blurted it out so many times, but it just couldn't happen. He couldn't tell Steve in Brooklyn and he couldn't tell him during the war, but he tells him now.

It took awhile for him to remember why he loved Steve. He could feel it early on, he just wasn't sure what it was but it was there. The need to be around Steve, feeling possessive for unknown reasons, he watched other people around Steve like a hawk, if Steve had a coughing fit Bucky would suddenly feel panicked - like he was out of control - his body wanting to reach out to Steve but he'd get angry because he didn't know why it was happening. It took months to piece everything together once he started to remember. He didn't tell Steve about what he remembered right away, it was too confusing and a little terrifying and made his heart ache. He felt like an asshole when he realized he loved Steve, everything he had been feeling now made sense but he knew he never told him before.

Felt even worse when he remembered Steve saying that he wanted him. When they were tangled up and pawing at each other. When he was kissing Steve everywhere he could. How he kissed along Steve's jaw and down his neck while getting him off with his hand, and Steve said it. The only time they said 'your mine' or were sweet with each other was when they were like that, but this was different. Steve was whimpering soft and prettily with his hand moving through Bucky's hair as he quietly breathed out, "I want - Bucky, I need you - please."

Is it twisted that he needs that now? He has so much quilt for what he's done in the past, does wanting this make him a horrible person? He needs Steve in his lap, telling him that he wants him - needs him. 

"You want me? Now who's being sentimental?" Steve's teasing but he smiles so lovingly. 

Bucky rolls his eyes. "You act like I never fuck you now."

"Oh, you definitely do. You know I just like to make sure my baby is taken care of." Steve breathes against Bucky's skin, kissing down his neck.

"Fuck - Steve" Bucky's breath hitches as Steve bites down on his chest. Steve's teeth sink into Bucky's skin, though not hard enough to draw blood, making him moan.

Steve's licks at the mark he's left on Bucky's chest, then moves his lips up along Bucky's neck. When Steve is close enough Bucky turns his head to catch Steve's bottom lip between his teeth, his left hand at the side of Steve's neck to bring him closer. He rubs his thumb along Steve's jaw to get him to open his mouth a little more. Steve slightly tilts his head to the side and opens his mouth. 

Bucky pushes his tongue inside Steve's mouth, his right hand kneading Steve's ass. Steve whines and his hands surge up to grip Bucky's hair. Every sound Steve makes has Bucky so needy for more, he can never get enough. With his right hand he slides two fingers between Steve's cheeks, lightly caressing as he slowly moves down from Steve's tailbone to his perineum and back up again. 

Steve catches Bucky's tongue and sucks while he presses back against Bucky's hand. Bucky's moans into Steve's mouth, his fingers circling Steve's hole and lightly pressing against him. Steve breaks away whimpering and sounding just as needy as Bucky feels. They're both panting, Steve still pushing against Bucky's fingers as he catches his breath. 

"You're amazing." Bucky manages to breathe out. Steve's cheeks and neck are a dusty pink, lips red and kiss swollen, his blue eyes dark with blown out pupils. 

Steve looks at him like he's the moon and all the stars, like something he can't fathom - that he's in awe of, it would be uncomfortable to feel exposed just from someone looking at you but it never has been with Steve. For how much he thinks he doesn't deserve Steve he takes everything Steve gives him and keeps it greedily. He takes from Steve; his time, attention, affection, his body, his love. Steve gives him everything without holding back and without asking for anything in return, he doesn't have to ask because Bucky gives up everything of himself that he takes from Steve.

Right now Steve is looking at Bucky like he always does, except in this situation there's a mix of lust and possessiveness. Steve smiles and Bucky's chest feels too small for his heart. Bucky pulls Steve down and kisses him, not deep or hurried but meaningfully. Steve takes a deep breath through his nose and settles himself against Bucky's chest, softly humming contentedly and making Bucky's lips tingle. They kiss lazily for a minute, hands moving over each other's bodies, before Steve nuzzles into the crook of Bucky's neck. Steve smiles against his skin. 

Bucky turns his head to kiss Steve's temple. "Stevie?" He asks, lips brushing skin. Steve hums in response. 

"Is it ok if I finger you?" He asks quietly, cringing at his word choice and beating himself up for how nervous he sounds.

Like the angel he his, Steve just looks up at him with those dreamy baby blues and smiles sweetly, "Of course it is, kitten." 

Parting from each other, Bucky grabs the bottle of lube from the nightstand drawer while Steve lays out on the bed. 

In the short time it takes Bucky to get the lube Steve has stripped off all his clothes, lying on the bed with his elbows propping him up.

"Looks like someone's eager," Bucky grins, quirking his brow. Standing at the side of the bed, he slowly undoes the button and zipper of his pants.

"And you're not?" Steve asks, watching him. 

"Me? Oh. I can't wait to feel you sweetheart." He licks his lips, catching Steve track the movement. "Gonna get you laid out, get my hands all over you. Mm, look at you Stevie." He starts to slip his jeans down to his thighs and lets them fall to the floor before stepping out. 

He moves his eyes over Steve's body, filing the image away in a memory he hope he never forgets. He's always thought Steve was pretty, though he couldn't be mistaken for a dame with his sharp features and hard lines. Bucky always loved how Steve's hips felt in his hands, loved kissing his stomach, running his tongue along Steve's rib cage - "Want to kiss you everywhere, Stevie," he says, interrupting his thoughts.

"I might like that," Steve teases while he stretches out a bit, slightly arches his back and tilts his hips up.

"Know you would," He lets out a soft sigh, stroking his cock lazily.

Steve narrows his eyes, looking at Bucky like he just told him he can't have his favorite toy. 

"Don't worry doll, I'm still gonna give it to you. Just want to look at you a little. You're so pretty. Always thought so. All laid out and preening, all for me?" 

Steve nods, hands fisting the bedsheets as he watches Bucky touch himself.

"Mm - How'd I ever get so lucky?" Bucky smiles. "I wanna get you so worked up for me. Tease you til you beg for my cock. 'An I'll give it to you, just like I said. I can't ever say no to you. Just want to feel you tight and slick around me. Get you moaning and whining. You always make the sweetest sounds baby."

Letting out a needy moan, Steve closes his eyes and opens them to see Bucky grip the base of his cock and stroke himself. His head rolling back as he rubs this thumb over the tip, precum coating his cock as he slides his fist down, "fuck," he breathes out.

"Bucky!" Steve all but whines in protest. He's up on his knees now, glaring at him. 

He stops his hand and looks Steve over. He's flushed from his neck and down to his chest but his cheek bones are a darker shade. His eyes are a deeper blue, pupils swallowing the color. Hands are at his sides, fists clenching. Bucky looks at Steve's cock, hard as a rock and straining up towards his stomach. 

"Sorry baby, c'mere." Bucky moves closer to the bed, stands with his thighs up against the side. Steve shuffles on his knees to the edge and looks up, only a few inches shorter than Bucky like this. 

Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's waist, pulling him in so they line up and press against each other from chest to hip. Steve's arms tangle around Bucky's neck, breath hitching when Bucky slides his hands down Steve's back and over the curve of his ass. 

Steve hums and kisses along Bucky's collar bone. A hand scratches at the back of Bucky's head, he tips his head back to the touch.

Bucky caresses Steve's ass with both hands, squeezing and slightly spreading his cheeks to hear Steve whine and rub his cock into Bucky's hip. He moves a hand down further, a finger finding Steve's hole and lightly circling. 

"Mmm - Bucky, please," Steve begs, griping Bucky's hair and kissing along his jaw. "Touch me, Buck, everywhere, like you said. Please." 

"Anything you want angel." Bucky leans to the side to grab the lube, smiling when Steve follows - arms around Bucky's neck. He slicks up his fingers, flesh so he can feel Steve warm around him. 

He goes back to circling Steve's hole, less drag now that he can get Steve wet. With his other hand he cups Steve's jaw, tilting his head to lick into his mouth. Steve's body sags into him as their tongues slide together so he wraps his metal arm around Steve's waist. Letting Steve take over and basically tongue fuck him, Bucky slides a finger into Steve. He's up to the second knuckle, slowly moving in and out, and Steve doesn't flinch. He tightens his grip on Bucky's hair and says, "More - more, Buck," moaning into his mouth.

Bucky can never deny Steve anything. He pulls back and adds a second finger as he pushes in. Steve tips his head back, letting out a breathy 'fuck,' and shifts his hips so their cocks slide against each other. Bucky groans, tightens his grip on Steve's waist and leans forward to latch his mouth low at the side of Steve's neck. He sucks and bites at Steve's skin while he fingers him. 

Steve can't keep still. His hands are pulling at Bucky's hair, smoothing over Bucky's shoulders and upper arms, or clawing at Bucky's back. He keeps his hips moving. Their cocks leaking precome, hard and slick as they rub together. 

He has Steve lay down on his back so he can get comfortable, get the weight off Steve's legs where he'd been kneeling on the bed. He works Steve open with a third finger after Steve begs for it and takes Steve's cock in his mouth to tease the head. 

After a few minutes Steve is begging for Bucky's cock. Panting and fucking himself on Bucky's fingers. "Auh - please, need you - Mm- please." 

"Fuck. Sugar you sound so sweet begging for me." He strokes Steve's prostate to get him whining, for emphasis, and licks at Steve's cock as he slides his fingers free. Steve curses and surges up to crash his lips to Bucky's. 

"I'll have you begging so deep inside me soon enough." 

Bucky lets Steve push him down to lie back on the mattress. Watches as Steve takes the lube and coats his cock for him, moaning softly at the attention. Steve straddles Bucky, lining himself up and then slowly sinks down. 

Steve is beautiful taking cock. Chest flushed a pretty pink, eyelashes flutter above his cheeks as he closes his eyes, and lips part to let out those sweet sounds Bucky loves so much. 

He caresses Steve's thighs and talks nonsense as he slowly bottoms out. "Fuck, you're still so tight sweetheart. Feel so damn good. You're so good Stevie. Gorgeous. So fucking hot." 

When Steve settles and stills to give himself a moment to adjust he looks down at Bucky and smiles. His pupils are giant with just a sliver of blue circling them, his eye lids heavy but he looks sated - happy even though he hasn't moved yet. Bucky's sure he must look like a dreamy eyed dope but he doesn't care. Steve is beautiful. And he tells him.

Steve laughs softly, "Such a sap." He leans down to kiss Bucky, gasping at the change in the angle of Bucky inside him. "You feel so good Bucky. Fill me up so nice." He circles his hips making Bucky gasp and moan.

Bucky puts his hands on Steve's hips, rolls his own as Steve rocks back and forth. They stay like this for a few moments, Steve resting his forehead against Bucky's as they move and breath each other in. 

Everything feels so damn good, even better when Steve leans in to seal their lips. The kissing turns wet and rough, licking into each other's mouths and biting lips as Steve moves his hips faster. They part, panting, "Gotta move, want you to sit up for me kitten," Steve breaths out.

Bucky grabs Steve's waist and moves them so his back is up against their headboard and Steve sits in his lap. They kiss rough and deep, Steve gripping Bucky's hair while Bucky squeezes and massages Steve's ass. 

Steve whines and leans back, smirking as he uses his knees to lift himself and bounce on Bucky's cock. Bucky smacks his head against their headboard with a groan, kneading Steve's ass as he moves up and down. 

"Fuck, you feel amazing." Bucky stares up at Steve wide-eyed and still can't believe he gets to have this, that Steve wants him as much as he wants Steve. He just wants to know, to hear it - please, please, please. He doesn't realize he's begging out loud, until Steve says, "What is it? Tell me what you want, kitten." 

Bucky bites his lip, slightly embarrassed. He can ask, Steve would do it if he asked but he just needs Steve to as it on his own. Steve keeps fucking himself on Bucky's cock, pulling out moans and curses but Bucky doesn't say it. 

Steve growls, making Bucky's eyes go big and heat spread in his chest because he sees it. There's a flash of possessiveness and want in Steve's eyes. Without much warning, Steve leans in and latches on to Bucky's neck. He bites down, hard but not enough to draw blood, and then sucks on the spot, making Bucky groan and snap his hips up to meet Steve's. He nips at the skin then licks a stripe to Bucky's ear and whispers, "You're mine. You hear me? All mine." 

Steve whispers but there's heat behind it and it makes Bucky's head swim. He whimpers and nods, which seems to please Steve, "Good. That's good, kitten." He moves his mouth back to the bite on Bucky's neck and sucks hard, biting down one more time. Bucky cries out, hands gripping Steve's hips.

"Mm - Buck, 'm so close, you feel so fucking good. Want you to come. Auh - fuck me." 

Without warning Bucky flips them to Steve is on his back, making him gasp. Bucky crowds over him, slowly rocking his hips as Steve's begs to be fucked. 

"Say it," Bucky asks, moving a hand to Steve's cock and stoking.

Steve whines and grabs at Bucky, wraps his legs around Bucky and pulls him in so their foreheads touch, "Your mine," kisses the corner of Bucky's lips, "Mine." 

Bucky presses their mouths together, moves a hand to the small of Steve's back to hold him up and snaps his hips to fuck into Steve faster making him gasp. "Touch yourself sweetheart." 

Steve does as he's told and matches Bucky's rhythm. He moans and curses as Bucky fucks into him. "Buck - auh - please, 'm gonna come."

"Wanna see you come, Stevie. You can do it, come for me." 

After a few more thrusts Steve's muscles tighten around Bucky's cock and he's coming over his fist with Bucky's name on his lips. Bucky fucks him through it, "Auh - fuck. My Stevie. You're so - Mm - beautiful. All mine." 

Steve relaxes and tightens around Bucky, saying yes over and over. Bucky comes slumped over and panting into Steve's skin. 

They take a moment to catch their breath, Bucky making sure to keep his weight off Steve. He carefully pulls out, both wincing at the discomfort, and rolls onto his back. Not caring about the mess, Steve curls up into Bucky's side and Bucky puts his arm around him. "Love you," Steve says before kissing Bucky's chest.

Bucky kisses Steve's forehead, "Love you, too." 

Steve looks up and smiles, so Bucky kisses him. Steve's lips are soft and body is heavy against his. He's exhausted and feels like he's buzzing. Having Steve like this again making him feel warm and whole, he couldn't feel more content. 

Steve hums against Bucky's lips, "As good as this feels," he looks down, "this stuff is starting to dry."

"Stay here, I'll get a towel."

When he comes back with a wet wash cloth Steve is sitting up in bed, he quickly cleaned himself in the bathroom, so he moves to sit next to Steve and gently cleans him up. Once their both clean Bucky lays down so Steve can curl up to him again. 

He forgot what it felt like to have Steve small and wrapped around him. He feels like he could be better at protecting Steve like this. Even with all the muscles Steve has Bucky still feels protective and has a deep seeded need to keep him safe. Steve doesn't really need him though, never actually did, but Steve lets him be there. 

He opens his mouth to speak before he chickens out. "When you looked like this before, just a wisp of a thing, everyone but your ma and me thinking you there was nothing to you. I thought the world of you. You were the damn sun, still are. I was so fucking gone over you," Bucky laughs, running a hand over his face. 

Steve looks up and smiles, "Buck-"

"You know have all of me, right? You gotta know." Steve bites his lip and nods, letting Bucky continue.

"I loved you; back in Brooklyn, during the war, after...but this," He looks down, running his hand along Steve's back. "This is when you were mine. Just for me. Everyone was a fool back then for not seein' what they see in you now. They didn't know what I did, and I was an asshole because I kinda liked it that way. No one got to have you like I did." 

Steve smiles, small and sweet, eyes watery but looking at Bucky so adoringly. When he speaks it sounds like he's trying not to cry.

"You're such a sap." Steve sniffles, tries to laugh it off. Bucky wipes a tear away with his thumb. 

He kisses Steve until he's smiling, "I'm your sap, you like it." 

"I do. I guess I'll keep you." 

Bucky laughs, "Thanks, doll," he yawns, "you tired?"

"Yes, you're exhausting." Steve gets off the bed, walking to the bathroom but looks back when the gets to the door and winks when he sees Bucky watching him.

By the time Steve comes back to the bedroom Bucky has put on sleep pants and quickly changed their sheets. He's laying against the pillows when Steve climbs into bed, wearing sleep pants and a light t-shirt, and lays down with his back turned to Bucky. 

"You wanna be the little spoon?" Bucky teases.

"Shuddup and cuddle me." 

Bucky can never deny Steve anything. 

Steve is asleep before him, pulled close with Bucky curled around him and their hands linked together. Bucky kisses his neck and falls asleep to the steady rhythm of Steve breathing against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jfc, they had a long fucking day ;)  
> Seriously, I feel like this took forever to write lol. 
> 
> I just want to say thank you to everyone who has read, given kudos, commented, bookmarked and/or subscribed to this fic. It means so much to me. 
> 
> Yes, there will be more.
> 
> And, as always, comments are greatly appreciated. Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> Follow me on [ Tumblr](http://kissedbifire.tumblr.com) for more feels.


	4. Chapter 4

The place between sleep and awake, when you're aware of your body, you know you're lying in bed but your mind is still foggy, you're dreams pulling you under still, that is an uncertain place for Bucky. There's a tickle at his neck and he can't remember his dream. 

He keeps his eyes closed, taking steady breaths through his nose. He's laying on his side, face half buried in the pillow, he must've kicked the comforter off in his sleep because there's a slight chill but his back is warm. He can feel soft exhales against the nape of his neck. He's been tense since he came to consciousness, always is, but there were no nightmares and he remembers last night so everything is ok. The feel of a body pressed up against him is comforting, because it's Steve.

He opens his eyes, squinting at the sudden brightness but he wants to see. Steve is smaller than him and it makes him smile. When he turns his head to look over his shoulder he can't even see much. Steve has his face buried in Bucky's hair and neck, his body plastered to Bucky's back, and it makes his heart swell. 

Figures they'd end up this way. Steve had taken a liking to tucking Bucky close to his chest, with Bucky being a bit smaller than Steve's chiseled build. He thinks it also has to do with Steve wanting to keep Bucky safe, not that Bucky needed to be protected but he certainly knows the feeling of wanting to keep something in your grasp to let yourself feel like you can keep every potential harm at bay.

It wasn't easy getting used to touch and it took months for him to allow it. What he found was that he was actually starved for it. When he had finally found his way into Steve's bed, let Steve curl around his body, wrap his arms around Bucky and pull him impossibly close, it was overwhelming. 

He felt ridiculous for it but he actually cried. Being that close to Steve, being just small enough, made him feel caged in. Steve crowded behind him with his arms tight around Bucky and held his hand. It was almost suffocating. He felt safe, felt wanted and maybe even loved, it made his throat feel tight and his eyes sting. The feeling caught him off guard. He had taken a deep breath to try and calm himself but when he exhaled it came out as a quiet broken sob. Steve just squeezed his hand, kissed below his ear and whispered, "it's ok, Buck. I got you." 

He moves to turn over but Steve tightens his arm around Bucky's waist. Looks like the super solider strength still hasn't worn off, Bucky thinks. Steve nuzzles into Bucky's neck, exhaling and sending a shiver down his spine, and mumbles. 

Bucky smiles to himself. "Can't hear you, mumbles."

Steve stretches his legs out and curls back around Bucky, pulling away long enough to ask, "where're you goin?"

"Not goin' anywhere." 

With Steve loosening his grip, Bucky turns over and pulls Steve in. Steve's hair is a mess, his eyes bright as he smiles sleepily. Bucky tangles their legs together and gives Steve a proper good morning kiss. Steve hums as their lips part and tucks his head under Bucky's chin. 

"Thats some morning breath you got there, Barnes." Steve says, Bucky can feel him smile against his skin.

"You're a punk, Rogers," Bucky groans and makes to get off the bed. He knows Steve is only teasing, not like he has fresh minty breath when he wakes up either. 

He means to rolls off the bed, but Steve moves with him. Bucky is on his back, laughing because Steve scrambled on top of him. Steve is laying on top of Bucky, his legs tucked up on either side of Bucky's torso, nuzzling and kissing Bucky's neck. 

It's not completely out of character for Steve to be a bit clingy but this hasn't happened before. Bucky kisses the top of Steve's head, runs his flesh hand along Steve's back and asks, "what's this for?"

Steve shrugs into Bucky. "You're warm." 

He wants to bury himself inside Steve. Wants Steve to want him, just like this. He want to spend all day doing nothing but rolling around in bed with Steve. He cups Steve's jaw, leading him up so Bucky can slot their mouths together. Steve must really not care about the morning breath because he immediately opens his mouth for Bucky. They kiss slow and deep for a long time, swallowing each other's moans and whimpers. Bucky feels Steve harden against his stomach, he moves his hand to do something about it but they jolt away from each other when they suddenly hear loud voices from the other room talking about... _car insurance?_

They walk out of the bedroom and find Natasha stretched out on their oversized couch. They turn to each other and share a confused look. Before they can open their mouths Natasha glances over to them. "Hey fellas," she says as a greeting, giving them a little salute, and turns her focus back to the tv. 

"Good morning, Nat." Steve says as he goes to the kitchen to start the coffee maker.

Bucky lifts Natasha's legs to sit down on the couch and she puts them back down across his lap. "What're you doing here anyway?" 

She flicks her eyes over to Steve for a split second and her lips move into that tiny smile of hers that's more of a smirk. "I like him," she says to the tv. 

Bucky rolls his eyes. "Already knew that." 

Steve hands Bucky a mug of coffee and smiles at the both of them. Natasha keeps her eyes on the tv as she sits up to let Steve have a seat. When he sits down she leans into his shoulder, sitting in the middle of the couch with her legs still across Bucky's lap.

"I'm supposed to let you know Tony wants to see you both but to wait until you woke up, because apparently you need beauty sleep but you were taking too long."

Hence the loud car insurance conversation, Bucky thinks, figures she just turned up the volume to get them out of bed.

Natasha is one of he few people with access to their floor. They don't even have a set up for Jarvis. Bucky hadn't been comfortable with eyes and ears in their personal living space but had to compromise with having a few panic buttons installed around the suite. 

When the three of them make their way to Tony's floor they find Pepper with him. Bucky wants to get to the point, and before Tony can comment on how Steve is swimming in his oversized clothes. Pepper looks at Steve the same she always has and smiles, which he's thankful for.

Tony goes on to tell them that Steve's lab work all came back normal. The "wizard" on the other hand has been going through detox. It's pretty horrible to hear. Even though the guy was on a little crime spree and could've really hurt someone and turned Steve back into his former self. The guy had seemed young, Tony tells them he's actually 23 years old and that he had more drugs in his system than he should've been able to handle. 

The physicians and Shield agents were able to get some information out of him. Apparently he's not a wizard, Tony is disappointed. He's actually a mutant, which isn't all that surprising after cameras caught him shape-shifting. He was able to turn Steve back to "pre-serum," as Tony puts it, because he can also cause others to take different forms. He says the kid probably say Captain America and got flustered. It wasn't magic or time travel or a spell, which is how Steve was able to keep the serum. 

Steve asks how the kid is doing, Bucky wants to know if Steve will be ok and if he's going to change again. Pepper lets Steve know that the kids name is Jacob, and he's doing well given the circumstances. He's currently being monitored while he detoxes and will be handed to the proper authorities once able to control his powers. To answer Bucky's questions Pepper tells them again that Steve's labs all came back normal, that he's not hurt or at risk. She tells them that Steve should be able to be changed back but only once Jacob has detoxed and is able to fully control his powers, that they shouldn't risk trying until then. She gets a called for a meeting, she excuses herself and asks Tony to fill them in on everything else.

Knowing all of this somewhat lessens the buzzing at the back of his mind but he's not going to stop worrying. He does feel bad for the kid, but he's taken care of and Steve is simply more important to him. Steve, of course, is more interested in the kid being alright. 

Natasha cuts in to change the subject and stop their bickering by asking, "what about assignments? Are you going to clear Steve for missions or recon?"

"Are you crazy?" Both Bucky and Tony spit out.

Natasha rolls her eyes. 

"Didn't we all just hear that I'm fine? I've got the serum, I'm just," Steve sighs, "smaller. If I have the same strength and healing, why not?"

"Why not? Well, to quote Pepper, 'that would be a PR nightmare.'"

"I highly doubt Pepper would say that," Natasha says, crossing her arms. 

"Maybe she didn't say it like that, but that's what she meant. Imagine telling the public that big strong Captain America was shrink-rayed by a junky wizard. Nice ring to it, right?" 

"C'mon, Steve, take a break," Bucky all but pleads. "When's the last time you got to relax? When's the last time we were able to just be together? How long?" 

He knows he's pushing it, maybe it sounds a bit pathetic and reaching but whatever works. And it does, because Bucky doesn't ask for much. He tries not to smile too wide as Steve gives in. 

"So, what am I gonna do? I gotta stay locked up here?"

"You do live here. Not like this palace is a prison. Do whatever you want, just don't go out where you'll be recognized. There are no foreseeable pressing matters, besides our non-wizard friend. And if the press pick up on your absence they will be informed that Captain America is having a much deserved vacation," Tony tells them. 

Bucky leads Steve to the elevator before he changes his mind and puts up a protest, Natasha follows them.

"So, what _are_ you doing to do? Natasha asks, once inside the elevator. "You can't exactly go out with your clothes falling off, no matter how cute you are." 

Bucky jumps at the chance. "I can go pick up some clothes. Head to the store and be back in an hour. We can do whatever we want after." 

He's pushing it, he knows it, but fuck it. It's true that they don't get much down time, what with missions and training. Why not make the best of a crappy situation, not that this is horrible. 

"Fine." Steve sighs.

Natasha quirks an eyebrow at Bucky, he can't help is face, he's beaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeep ok, you finally got my explaination for skinny Steve lol. 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! And yes, still more to come.
> 
> P.s. Natasha loves Steve, like a bro, ok bro? I love the idea of them being super close. And normally jealous Bucky being fine with it, because they both love Nat. 
> 
> For more whatever this is, follow me on [Tumblr](http://kissedbifire.tumblr.com) :)


	5. Chapter 5

Bucky is gone for an hour, two hours. It's been two and a half hours by the time he gets back to the Avengers tower. 

He enters the elevator with a handful of shopping bags. He hadn't meant to be gone for so long but when looking around for clothes he realized that Steve needed shirts, pants, socks, boxers, shoes, and that all took awhile. Maybe, maybe, he had gotten a little excited at the idea of buying clothes for Steve. 

Natasha had sent him a text with all of Steve's measurements so he knew what to look for. He did just keep it to the basics, few pairs of dark wash jeans, a mix of simple plain colored crew neck and v-neck shirts, some boxer briefs, socks, a pair of black converse and a pair of black boots. He also purchased a leather jacket similar to one Steve already has. He thought maybe Steve would still want to take his bike out seeing as he has the same strength he assumes Steve could still maneuver the bike.

He's been smiling since he left and his face hurts but he can't stop. It feels ridiculous to be in such a good mood, but he's been told it's unhealthy to deny yourself of being happy. He'd done that for a long time, didn't even let the idea of him maybe deserving happiness to enter his mind, he's getting better. 

When he steps off the elevator and gets to the entery way he starts to call Steve's name but stops himself. 

In the living room the tv screen shows the Netflix homepage, on the sofa Steve and Natasha are curled up together. 

Bucky moves closer and sure enough they are sleeping. Steve is on his back with an arm curled around Natasha's shoulder where she is snug up to his side with a leg between Steve's, his ankle locked with hers. Natasha's head is on the throw pillow next to Steve's, the little shit is asleep with a little smile on his face. Natasha looks peaceful, beautiful. She's always beautiful, no one can deny that, but when she's sleeping she softens. Bucky finds himself just smiling at them. 

Natasha reminds him of Steve sometimes, a little more-so when he remembers Steve like this. They are both small in stature and people underestimate them because of that. They both have smart mouths, are both determined and can be challenging. Neither of them open up all that much, which Bucky more than understands, but if you're lucky enough for them to let you in they become fiercely protective. Other than Clint, Steve is Natasha's closest friend and Bucky is more than happy they have each other.

He pulls himself out of his thoughts, takes out his phone to snap a quick picture of them. He looks at the picture and smiles, shaking his head. He thinks about making a print of the picture, sure the thought comes from teasing them but they are fucking cute. 

"Cute as a box of puppies, huh?"

Bucky snaps his head up to find Clint walking out of the hall bathroom. He walks to the kitchen, taking a drink from one of their coffee cups, and takes a seat on a bar stool at the island.

"What are you doing here? You come in with Nat?" Bucky asks, walking to the kitchen and putting the shopping bags behind him. 

"Nah. I was at the range for a few hours, but I knew she was here keeping Steve company."

"And just how did you get in?" 

"You got a nice view." Clint takes a sip of his coffee, smiling as he sets the cup back on the counter.

"Are you saying you came in through the balcony doors?" 

"Not too far of a drop." Clint shrugs. "Oh, um, I think maybe a stray cat knocked over one of your potted plants."

Bucky rolls his eyes. "A cat. Right." He doesn't really care about the plant. Steve had picked out the few plants they had out in the balcony, he could clean it up.

Instead of inquiring further, and really he doesn't need to, he goes to the bedroom and leaves Clint reading a newspaper in the kitchen. 

With the door shut behind him, Bucky begins to take the clothes out of their shopping bags. He takes off all the stickers and uses his pocket knife to cut the tags. He could leave everything as is but he doesn't want to. 

When he had to eventually buy clothes for himself it had been overwhelming, he didn't want to do it. He had only worn tactical gear for so long that anything else felt wrong and like he was too exposed. 

Going through racks of clothing had been nerve wracking. He didn't know what to chose, what was the right thing, what would look good on him, how things were supposed to fit. Part of him had knew, felt, that he used to take pride in how he looked. Judging by old photos and stories, he had kept his clothes neat and ironed, his hair was always fixed and styled. He didn't have that left in him, it meant nothing. Clothing was armor, not an expression or for comfort. 

He couldn't pick anything for himself. One of the first things he ever asked for, months after being with Steve, was asking Steve to just pick out clothes for him. Steve had just smiled and said he would, he thanked Bucky for asking him. 

Steve had done what Bucky is doing now. When Steve had showed Bucky options on what he had bought, he had all the tags and stickers taken off, all the shopping tags were out of sight, he laid everything out on the bed and let Bucky look it over. It felt better, the clothes were in his room, laid out like his tactical gear would be. 

Boots at the side of the bed, shirts and jackets separated, jeans folded. Instead of knives and guns set out there were a few sunglasses and hats, he had even set out hair ties. Even though all the items were new they were still familiar.  
Everything already felt like it was his.

He knows Steve hasn't said anything, but he knows. Steve didn't used to be confident with his looks, he wasn't even confident in the first months with his new body. Steve has had more time to adjust but Bucky knows he's not always comfortable in his own skin. It seems like he's maybe putting on about the change not affecting him now but Bucky knows. Steve's not going to want to see the tags with the smaller sizes glaring back at him in bold. He can just put on the clothes and they will fit, won't have to see the sizes unless he does it intentionally. If he does for Steve what Steve did for him then it will be like everything belongs already, he hopes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short chapter. The next one will be longer!
> 
> And, hey, Clint! Yaaaaay
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. If you did, or didn't, let me know :)
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://kissedbifire.tumblr.com/) maybe?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day! 
> 
> My gift to you lovlies is some fluff and smut.

Bucky kneels down when he gets out onto the balcony. The broken pot was small at least. He ends up planting it into a bigger pot along with another plant, not sure whether that is something you _should_ do with plants but he did it anyway. He starts to pick up pieces of broken clay and sweeps up any smaller pieces along with stray soil when he starts to hear voices from inside.

"Clint broke one of your plants." Bucky announces, walking in from the balcony, holding a small trash bag and dust pan.

Before he puts the remains of the small plant into the trash can under the kitchen sink, he catches Natasha glare at Clint. 

He's just teasing, he's not mad about a broken potted plant and Steve wouldn't be either, but seeing Natasha glare at someone other than you is fun. 

He catches Steve's eye and they both grin at each other. Steve's hair is all mussed up and his eyes are bright from the sunlight streaming in. He wants to kiss him.

Steve must have some idea about what he's thinking, because his grin shifts into a smirk and he raises an eyebrow at him. 

Natasha and Clint break eye contact, causing Steve and Bucky to do the same when Clint says, "I'm sorry I broke your plant. Would've cleaned up if I knew where the dustpan was."

Natasha sits back into the couch, leaning against Steve.

Steve laughs and tells Clint that it's fine.

Natasha and Steve are still hogging the sofa, Steve sitting up with his arm stretched out on the back of the sofa with Natasha leaning into him and has her legs stretched out along the other cushions. For being so petite she can take up a lot of room when she wants to, Bucky thinks.

Clint is sitting on the love seat adjacent to them, and when Bucky walks towards the living room he pats the cushion next to him. He has his arm resting on the top of the couch, so Bucky decides to mimic Natasha.

He sits close to Clint, leaning into him but curling his legs up. He looks over at Natasha, cocking his head to the side and smiling. 

Natasha narrows her eyes but Steve smiles and says, "How cute."

Maybe it should we weird that they are cuddled up with each other like this but it's not. This closeness definitely didn't happen for a long time though. At first he didn't make an effort to get to know anyone. For awhile he was sure Hydra would be looking for him, that he wasn't the man Steve thought he was, he wasn't Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes. He didn't belong unleashed, he was a weapon Hydra would collect and pack away until they had a use for him. 

After he'd been at the tower for a few weeks he had a...an episode. He became convinced that he would kill Steve. He'd locked himself in the bathroom, window too small to climb out of to make an escape, and huddled in the corner of the shower. 

A voice repeating that Captain Rogers was his mission, his mission - to eliminate. His knees pulled tight to his chest, hands on his head, the voice kept insisting, getting louder and louder. 

"No, no, not a mission. I'm in control, there's no mission, I'm in control." He kept trying to calm himself but he was shaking. Steve was on the other side of the door trying to talk him down. In the end he worked through it, didn't hurt Steve or anyone else. 

A few days later Natasha and Clint both came to him separately, telling him no one truly knows what it's like but they are there for him. Natasha told him about the Red Room, Clint told him about Loki. Neither of them went into detail, he didn't need them too - he understands. Just knowing that these were people others look up to, heroes with dark pasts regaining control of their lives, that made him feel...not so hollow...that maybe his future doesn't have to be his past. 

He's comfortable with Natasha and Clint. 

He has to refocus when he comes out of his thoughts. Sometimes he gets lost in a thought or memory, goes off on a tangent and can lose track of time. It's not always long, sometimes it's not even noticeable. 

When he snaps out of his thoughts, he's realizes he's been staring at the coffee table. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he lets the noise filter in and tunes into the conversation going on around him. 

Apparently the conversation is about arrows. 

He opens his eyes, finding Steve - his brows slightly furrowed and nodding as Clint talks. The sunlight catches Steve's hair, he's sure he's told Steve that he glows. 

Bucky is stuck in his head. Sure he knows what Clint is talking about, aware that Nat is more perceptive and noticed he was lost in thought for awhile but she just keeps engaging in the conversation, Steve may notice but he doesn't worry unless Bucky goes rigid and dead-eyed. 

Before it would've looked like he was concentrating and possibly just uninterested in the conversation, right now it probably seems like he's just listening - which is true. In reality, he could talk weapons of any kind but with Steve looking like that...he's gone. 

Steve's talking now, calmly and directed at Clint but Bucky doesn't care. He watches Steve's mouth, the movement of his tongue behind pearly teeth. When he stops talking he smiles, nodding and then licks his lips. 

He wishes Steve was in his lap. Wants Steve towering over him. Even when he's small Steve could crowd Bucky, get up close and block everything else out, no matter what size he can lock Bucky down. It's his personality, his presence, his voice, it's a feeling that goes deep inside his bones, but mostly it's his eyes - those gorgeous baby blues. 

Steve must feel Bucky watching him because he starts to fidget. He brings his hand up to rub his neck, bites the corner of his bottom lip, casts his eyes down and when he looks up he finds Bucky. He's so damn pretty, Bucky thinks as Steve gives him a smile; his smile, the loving sort of shy smile that tries to be small but only grows. Bucky smiles back and winks. 

And that's when Natasha ends the conversation about arrows. "We should go, Clint." She says as she stands up.

"Aw, Tasha, but they're so cute. Being all cuddly and making eyes at each other." Clint wraps his arms around Bucky and squeezes. 

He could easily push Clint away, but why would he. So, Clint does notice when Bucky zones out but didn't seem to mind because he still had Nat and Steve to talk to...and because Bucky was curled up with him. 

Clint lets go after a moment and lets Bucky straighten out before he gets up. "What are you love pups up to?" Clint asks as he stretches his back. 

"Well, I did manage to find Steve some clothes so -"

"Never mind. We should stay." Natasha interrupts, smirking.

"You'll see him later, Nat. My turn." Bucky narrows his eyes and sticks out his tongue. 

Steve laughs and shakes his head as he stands up. "I'll go take a look, Buck." He says a quick goodbye and walks down the hall.

"So, what are you doing?" Clint asks when the bedroom door closes.

"Just a date. Normal, nothing fancy. Get something to eat, see a movie, nothing that could attract attention."

"I'm sure he'll be happy. You two deserve a night out." Natasha smiles, not a smirk but her small rarely shown smile, then adds "You better show him a good time though, or I'll have to." 

"Hey!" Clint whines, his lip sticking out in an exaggerated pout.

"How about you two go kiss and make up." Bucky says, trying to usher them to the door, Natasha elbowing him in the side.

"Let me know how it goes." 

Bucky kisses her cheek. "I will. Thank you, Nat."

He opens the door and Clint clears his throat.

Natasha smirks, Bucky rolls his eyes, they both kiss Clint on either cheek. 

Once they are outside the suite Bucky shuts the door behind them and makes his way to the bedroom.

He thinks about what Natasha said, about showing Steve a good time. Sure, it could be taken as suggesting something sexual but that not what it was. 

Steve rarely had a date that went well. Bucky should know, most of them had been double dates Bucky had set up. He had always had good intentions when setting up those dates, sometimes they went ok, mostly he ended up with a goodnight kiss and Steve ended the night with a 'it was nice to meet you' at best. 

Seeing Steve shot down broke Bucky's heart, but now they can go out as a couple without fear. They've been on dates before, but Bucky wants this time to be special. 

When Bucky opens the bedroom door he sees Steve sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You didn't like anything?" He asks nervously, seeing that Steve hasn't tried anything on.

"Everything looks great, Buck. I like the set up." Steve smiles, standing up and walking to Bucky. "I just didn't know what you had planned, what I should wear." He says, resting his hands on Bucky's hips.

"Well," Bucky says, his hands on Steve's waist to pull him closer, their bodies flush against each other. "I figured I ought to take my best guy out, wine and dine him a bit."

Steve smiles and Bucky cups his jaw with his right hand, turning Steve's face up and kisses him. He keeps the kiss gentle, lightly licking Steve's plump bottom lip as he pulls away. Steve makes a soft noise of protest at the loss but Bucky has an idea.

"How about we shower before we head out?" It's only about 2pm, too early for dinner anyway.

"I won't turn that down." Steve grins.

In the bathroom, their clothes are littered on the tile floor and steam fogs up the showers glass door.

It started out innocently enough, though his suggestion earlier wasn't innocent. They both quickly shampooed their hair, Steve reaching up to help Bucky rinse, his fingers running through Bucky's hair and massaging his scalp. 

That's Steve's secret weapon. Steve knows, he fucking knows Bucky becomes putty the moment he starts playing with his hair and working those nimble artists hands. 

There are multiple shower jets and right know Bucky has a hot spray of water hitting his chest with his head tipped back and Steve massaging his scalp. It's almost instantaneous, Steve works his fingers through Bucky's hair and his eyes slip closed. If Bucky could purr he would. 

Something about the contact just relaxes him, no matter where Steve touches him like this but for some reason it's intensified like this. Steve drags his finger tips along Bucky's scalp, applying the right amount of pressure, and Bucky sags. He doesn't fall, he can manage to stay standing, but it's like all his joints loosen - he's putty. 

"You like that kitten?" Steve asks, his right hand working through Bucky's hair while his left hand moves around to run up and down Bucky's chest.

"Mhmm." Bucky hums in response.

"Tell me." Steve's fingers at the base of Bucky's skull, massaging with more pressure making Bucky groan.

Bucky pushes back into Steve's touch, sighing, eyes closed and a smile on his lips. "Feels good."

Steve starts to massage Bucky's neck now. The hand caressing his chest moving lower and lower until he brushes Bucky's short pubic hair, Steve lightly scratches his nails into Bucky's skin and making him gasp. 

Taking his hand from Bucky's neck, Steve wraps both his arms around Bucky's torso. 

Bucky feels boneless and his skin tingles all over. He loves when Steve does this. He gets relaxed, his mind clears, and everything feels so good. Steve's told him that's why he loves doing it.

Steve steps closer so his chest is pressed against Bucky's back, their skin wet and slick. Bucky opens his mouth to thank him for the massage when he feels Steve press against his ass, instead he groans and lets out a breathy "fuuuck."

Behind him, Steve laughs under his breath. Bucky tilts his hips back slightly and Steve's cock slips under Bucky's ass and slides along his perineum, the head hitting the back of Bucky's balls. 

Bucky's breath catches and reaches his right hand behind him, finds what he wants. He grips Steve's ass, his fingers kneading the soft skin.

Steve slowly rocks his hips, moaning softly as his hard cock slides along Bucky's wet flesh, while his hands find Bucky's nipples. He lightly rolls Bucky's nipples between him thumb and forefinger, making Bucky shutter.

"Steve." Bucky whines. He sounds small. It would bother him if his voice sounded so weak in any other situation but Steve made him putty. Only Steve can tear him down, make him needy, make him whimper, make him beg while still making him feel strong and safe and loved. 

"What is it baby? What do you want?" Steve asks before trailing kisses up to the nape of Bucky's neck.

"I...I -" Bucky cuts himself off, feeling Steve's cock slide along his ass and part his cheeks, he moans instead.

Steve pinches Bucky's nipples. "Answer me." He backs away and slides his hands to Bucky's hips and squeezes. "Turn around."

Bucky does what he's told. The spray from the shower jet hits his back when he turns to face Steve. 

His eyes roam over Steve's body. Steve's hair his wet and pushed off his forehead, his bright blue eyes darkened by blown pupils. Steve's collarbones stick out just enough to have collected a few droplets of water that slide down his neck and pool in the dip of his shoulders. His ribs stick out, not obscenely, Bucky remembers his fingers filling in the gaps. Steve isn't all bones, he's made of sharp lines and hard curves but he's still soft. He's got meat on him, not much muscle, he's more slim and wiry. His arms and legs show slight tone in his biceps and thighs. His flat stomach smooths down to a patch of short blonde hair. Bucky can never decided what he loves more, Steve's cock or his ass.

Steve's ass is heaven, it's not big but it is perky and he can get a good hand full. Bucky loves squeezing, kneading, and caressing Steve's ass. What he _really_ loves is spreading Steve's ass. One of his favorite things to do is work Steve open with his tongue, to lick Steve's hole until it's soft and lax enough for him to slide his tongue in. The taste is different from anything else but every bit of Steve is sweet. He could eat Steve out for hours, until Steve is shaking and howling.

Bucky would get on his knees and worship Steve's cock. When every other part of him was small, Steve's cock was still huge. Alright, maybe it wasn't huge but compared to the rest of him it was. Before the serum Steve was average in size and thickness, after the serum he gained inches and filled out. Either way Bucky will gladly choke, though he doesn't think that will be an issue. He knows Steve will hit his throat but he's has conditioning. He loves the weight of Steve on his tongue, the salty taste of him, getting lost in licking and sucking and kissing him, loves the noises Steve makes. What he wants, needs, is for Steve to fuck his mouth.

"Baby...Bucky." Steve's voice snaps Bucky out of his thoughts. 

Bucky had been staring and when he looks up Steve is smiling, or rather he's smirking and asks, "What were you thinking about?" 

"Thinking about you." Bucky answers, clearing his throat. He lets his eyes trail down and licks his lips.

"Was this what you were really thinking about?" Steve's cock is hard and straining against his stomach, he begins to lightly stroke himself.

He nods his head and Steve asks, "Where do you want it?" Bucky just whimpers and licks his lips before biting down on his bottom lip, so Steve tells him to get on his knees.

Bucky sinks to his knees, looking up when he feels Steve's hand on his cheek. Steve runs his thumb along Bucky's bottom lip and Bucky's eyes fall back to Steve's cock.

"Go on." Steve says as he moves his hand to cup Bucky's jaw. 

Inching forward, Bucky looks up and keeps eye contact with Steve as he licks a stripe along his cock, root to tip. Steve hums, pleased, and Bucky mouths kisses up his length. He opens his mouth, still staring into Steve's eyes, and licks his lips before taking Steve in.

Bucky has just the head of Steve's cock in his mouth, he sucks gently and Steve gasps. "Mm. That's it baby." 

Getting Steve's approval, Bucky lets his eyes slip closed as he takes Steve's cock deeper. He takes him in slowly, his tongue lightly pressing along the hard flesh. He almost has Steve fully but he stops to hollow out his cheeks and pulls back to circle his tongue around the tip. He licks at the slit of Steve's cockhead, tasting the salt of precome and sucks.

"Auh. Baby." Steve's hands are in Bucky's hair. 

Bucky slowly takes Steve all the way, the head of Steve's cock hitting the back of Bucky's throat. Bucky slides his hands from Steve's thighs up to his hips and swallows, his throat tightening around Steve's cock. 

"Mm - Auh. Fuck." 

Bucky opens his eyes to look up at Steve, meaning to watch him as he really starts to move but when he tries to pull his head Steve keeps him still. 

The grip Steve has on Bucky's hair tightens and Bucky moans, sending vibrations from his throat to Steve's cock and balls. Steve hisses. 

"You're so good kitten. You want me to fuck that gorgeous mouth of yours?"

Bucky moans again, trying to nod but can't move with Steve's cock in his mouth and the hold on his hair. Steve loosens his grip and Bucky pulls off.

"Please," Bucky says immediately. "I want it. Please, Steve." 

"Shh, kitten, I'll give it to you." Steve says, smiling as he strokes Bucky's cheek.

Bucky smiles and quickly opens his mouth.

"So eager," Steve smirks as he continues to stroke Bucky's cheek. 

"Please," Bucky whimpers.

His own cock is aching and curved up against his stomach but he doesn't care. He wants Steve back, wants to feel the heaviness on his tongue, wants to taste him, to make him feel good. He's about to beg again but Steve holds his cock so Bucky just opens his mouth again. 

Steve feeds his cock into Bucky's mouth until the head hits his throat. He's built up a tolerance so he doesn't have much of a gag reflex but he makes a soft coughing sound. Steve bites his lip and asks, "Ready? You look so good baby."

Bucky moans, hollows out his cheeks and sucks, moving is hands from Steve's hips to grab his ass. 

"Mm baby, so, so eager." Steve laughs under his breath and tightens his grip on Bucky's hair.

The pressure makes Bucky relax even more. Steve starts moving his hips in shallow thrusts, Bucky pressing his tongue along Steve's cock as he moves. 

For awhile the only sounds are Steve's panting and moaning. It's harder for Bucky to make any noise but he moans, enjoying Steve using him, the feel of him, loving the noises Steve makes. 

"So gorgeous." Steve whispers above him. Bucky has had his eyes closed, getting lost but he opens his eyes and looks up at Steve with heavy lids.

"You're so gorgeous kitten." Steve praises, one hand in Bucky's hair and the other moving to his mouth. His thumb tracing the stretch of Bucky's lips around his cock. 

If it could count as any sort of sound, Bucky is sure he's whimpering. He loves when Steve talks to him. Loves hearing innocent looking Steve Rogers, fucking Captain America, sweet talk while he's got his cock down Bucky's throat. The only thing better than Steve sweet talking him like this is when Steve swears and orders him around while still sounding like a damn angel. 

Steve starts to pick up the pace, his cock sliding rapidly along Bucky's tongue. The taste of precome becomes more apparent and Bucky's mouth waters even more. 

"Look so good baby, so good like this." Steve is watching as his cock slides between Bucky's lips. "Fuck."

Bucky's cock twitches, begging for attention, his hips thrust shallowly against nothing. He doesn't want to touch himself, not yet, he squeezes his hands on Steve's ass earning a pleased hum. 

Both of Steve's hands are clutching Bucky's hair, the grip tight but not harsh. Bucky's eyes watering, he focuses on breathing through his nose as Steve keeps a steady rhythm.

"Beautiful. You're so beautiful." Steve's gasps turning into a groan as Bucky moans. "Damn baby, you take cock so well. Fucking perfect." 

Bucky whimpers, sucking hard and making Steve's hips stutter.

"Auh - fuck." Steve recovers quickens his pace. "Greedy, aren't you? Can't get enough. Mm." 

Bucky wishes he could talk, to beg Steve for more, but that would mean stopping and he does not want that. He's so relaxed and wound up at the same time. His cock so hard it hurts but all he wants right now is to please Steve, make him feel good. 

"Kitten. Oh - fuck. Baby doll." Steve is getting close, he starts to babble and lose rhythm as he moves his hips faster. "All mine. Mm. Baby you feel so good. Look so good. God damn gorgeous." 

Tears fall from Bucky's eyes, partly because it's getting difficult to keep his breathing steady but Steve talking like this makes him feel so good. 

"Buck." Steve gasps. "Bucky. Fuck. Bucky Bucky Bucky." Steve babbles and moans, stilling his hips and holding Bucky close as he comes. 

Bucky swallows everything he's given, lightly sucking and keeping Steve in his mouth until he starts to soften. 

Steve pulls out and Bucky rests his head on his hip. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, sighing when Steve pets his his with one hand and strokes his cheek with the other. 

"That was amazing. You're amazing." Steve pants.

Bucky smiles, kissing Steve's hip bone before letting him help him up. His knees strain and ache but that won't last long when he's on his feet. 

Once Bucky is standing Steve pulls him close to slot their mouths together. Bucky's cock presses into Steve's stomach and he groans. He can push his desire away while pleasing Steve but now he's aching for release.

"You going to take care of that?" Steve asks, biting Bucky's lip. 

So it's one of those days, Bucky thinks. Out loud he actually whimpers. 

"You can get yourself off now and I'll take such good care of you tonight baby." Steve whispers against Bucky's lips. 

Bucky just might cry. Steve can be fucking bossy. Bucky doesn't mind, he loves it. He knows in his bones that from day one the punk was only going to have things done his way, Bucky just did what he was told. 

He really wants Steve to touch him, but he also wants to be good. He knows Steve will dote on him later if he behaves now. Not that Steve doesn't take care of him, even with his cock in Bucky's mouth he still did everything Bucky loves. He decides to behave.

Resting his left palm against the shower wall, the metal arm better to hold him up right now, Bucky takes his cock in his right hand. 

"Fuck." Bucky moans. Being painfully hard and going without friction for so long even the light grip is such a relief. 

"That's it baby." Steve coos. He hadn't realized he closed his eyes and when he opens them he sees Steve smirking. 

"You're the worst." Bucky feigns irritation, groaning as he starts to stroke himself.

Steve shakes his head, "Be nice to me and I'll be nice to you." 

Bucky bites his lip, knowing he shouldn't push it anymore or he'll definitely regret it later. 

Steve is watching as Bucky shallowly fucks his hand and asks, "Are you going to finish anytime soon? The pipes are great but the waters going to get cold, and you'll still need to clean your come off me." 

The look Steve gives him is like he's just asked Bucky about the weather and Bucky still shivers at what he's not so subtly requesting. 

The little punk is the reason for using up all the hot water and now he's rushing Bucky to come already, when he only just started touching himself. Damn bossy little shit, Bucky thinks. Except he doesn't care that Steve is acting impatient, what he's really saying is he wants Bucky to come on him and that, fuck, Bucky wants that.

He'd neglected his hard on that now he really doesn't need much time. He slightly tightens his grip, fucking his fist and staring at Steve's mouth. 

"Kiss me." Steve whispers. Bucky immediately complies.

He crowds over Steve, leaning into his space and kisses him. It's not gentle or sweet. Bucky kisses Steve like he's desperate. His mouth on Steve always gets him closer, heat building in his stomach. He licks his way into Steve mouth, their tongues sliding together. Steve moaning when he can still taste himself on Bucky. Steve sucks on Bucky's tongue, adding a spark and his balls draw up, he's so close. Steve pulls back, breaking the kiss, and Bucky curses. 

"Fuck. Steve, please. 'm so, auh, so close." 

"Shh, I know baby." Steve moves a hand to cover the one Bucky has on his cock, not even touching him but it makes Bucky feel so much better, even better when his other hand pets through his hair.

"Please." Bucky begs. Steve's hand moving with his has he strokes himself faster.

"You want to come on me? Dirty me up, make me yours?" Steve mouths at Bucky's lips, barely touching him and making Bucky shiver. 

"Yes yes baby. Please." Bucky tries to moves forward to press his lips against Steve's but the hand in his hair keeps him still.

Bucky gasps at the tugging on his hair, he's almost there.

"Make a mess. Come all over me." Steve pulls roughly on Bucky's hair, his head snapping back. "Come Bucky."

Bucky comes, shouting Steve's name and coating his stomach. Steve pulls him in close, kissing him through his orgasm. They're pressed together, Steve's tongue in his mouth, uncaring about the mess. 

Steve nips at his bottom lip before he breaks the kiss.

"Fuck." Bucky breaths out. Resting his forehead against Steve's, closing his eyes and sighing as Steve runs his hands along his back. 

"Bucky?" 

"Hm?"

"Love you." 

Bucky smiles and leans down to kiss Steve. "Love you, punk." 

"Let's get out, huh?"

They rinse off and stay in the shower to dry off. With towels around their waists, Steve takes Bucky's hand and leads him back into the bedroom. The clothes Bucky purchased are still laid out on the bed but Steve quickly puts them away and tells Bucky to lay down. 

Bucky lies back, resting his head on the pillows when Steve tells him he'll be right back. Steve is back in a few moments, sitting next to Bucky and handing him a glass of water. Bucky sits up, downing the glass and setting it aside before laying down. Steve settles close against Bucky's side, kissing his temple.

"Scale?" 

"Hm. For you being a bossy punk? 10/10."

Steve runs his hand over Bucky's body from his left shoulder down to his hip and up again. "I'm going to ignore that first part since you were so good. Always treat me so well Buck." 

Oddly, now is when Bucky starts to blush. He can't hide and just focus on a task, just give himself over to making Steve feel good. He does kiss Steve, letting him take over.

Tilting his head, Steve runs his tongue across Bucky's lips. Bucky gasps, opening his mouth for Steve to run their tongues together. He hold into Steve's waist as Steve cups his cheek. They kiss for what seems like a long time but neither of them care.

Bucky feels calm, relaxed and energized at the same time. He runs his hands along Steve's sides, his arms, shoulders, neck, and down his back. Swallowing every little noise Steve makes. 

Steve pinches Bucky's side, Bucky whining as he breaks the kiss.

"You're also funny and beautiful." Steve says as fast as he can.

Feeling his face heat up, Bucky moves his hand to cover his face but Steve grabs his wrists and straddles his waist. Steve at least doesn't stare at him this time once he continues.

"I love your smile." Kisses Bucky's lips. Bucky smiles. "Love your sexy smart brain." Kisses his forehead. Bucky rolls his eyes.  
"Love your trigger finger." Kisses his hand. Bucky grins. "Love you." Kisses the scar tissue of his left shoulder. Bucky holds his breath.  
"Love your beautiful gross hair." Kisses his head. Bucky laughs.

"Love you. 10/10." 

Steve lets Bucky pull him in for a kiss. Bucky holds Steve close and kisses him slow and deep for a few minutes. He's the one to break away this time, but kisses Steve's cheek just to see _his_ smile.

"Come on, let's go on our date so I can spoil you when we get back." Steve smirks, giving Bucky one last peck on the lips before sliding off the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm editing this at 3am, gonna hide now. Leave me some nice comments to read once I crawl out of my shame dumpster?
> 
> P.S. Thank you for everyone who has read, given kudos, subscribed to and/or booked marked this fic. Special shout out to those who leave comments, you especially make my day. I hope you all get lots of cute cards and so much candy.
> 
> P.P.S Still more to come...lol
> 
> For more whatever this is follow me on [Tumblr](http://kissedbifire.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

Turns out Steve can definitely still handle the bulky motorcycle. 

Bucky takes a moment to appreciate the sight. Steve straddling the Harley. The toes of his boots on the ground and without the kickstand, or the serum, Steve would be be tipping over but he balances the bike perfectly. He's wearing a black t-shirt under his leather jacket. Legs covered in dark denim, thighs squeezing slightly as the bike rumbles to life.

"I still got it." He tips his chin up at Bucky, smirking.

He says it like someone had challenged him and he proved them wrong. 

"You're just showing off." 

Bucky moves to the side of the bike, meaning to settle himself on the back. Steve usually drives, though Bucky has driven on occasion - it is Steve's motorcycle after all, but he shuts the engine off. 

"Your date, you should drive." Steve insists. 

Speeding down the dark asphalt, the evening sunsetting, cooling air winding through their hair, Bucky can't say he isn't happy to be at the wheel. 

Steve is pressed to Bucky's back, his arms hug around Bucky's waist, hands on his stomach and his thumbs running along the soft grey t-shirt where his jacket opens in the front.

Bucky parks on the street, killing the engine and waiting as Steve untangles himself. Bucky takes a moment to fix his hair, a bit disheveled from the wind. When he ties his hair back up into a bun it's still messy, sitting low with a few strands of shorter hair falling to frame is face. 

He shrugs, tucking the hair behind his ear when he lets out the kickstand before moving off the bike. 

Steve is staring at him so Bucky winks, pulling off the glove on his right hand to take Steve's left and lace their fingers together. 

He's pretty confident that no one will recognize them, especially Steve, but Bucky keeps the glove on his left hand. Not many people have a metal arm after all. 

They walk to a small pizzeria. They only have to wait a few minutes and follow the hostess to be seated on the outside patio. 

The patio is a decent size, tables full of couples and families and friends enjoying dinner. The tables tops are wooden but the chairs are wired metal, except for where they are seated. 

There's a long wooden bench with seat cushions that runs the length of the exterior wall with small tables spaced out in front and chairs on the opposite side. 

Bucky takes the bench seat, feeling more comfortable with the wall at his back. Instead of sitting in the chair in across from Bucky, Steve sits down on the bench to his left.

"We're _that_ kind of gross couple." Steve teases.

"Oh, no, it's cute." The hostess smiles, taking their drink order and letting them know their waiter will be with them shortly.

"Gross huh?" Bucky asks once the hostess was out of earshot.

"We've been called love sick puppies. We are obviously so cute it's disgusting."

Bucky laughs, it's a joke but it's true. Steve doesn't laugh, he just smiles and bumps their shoulders.

The waiter comes to their table, introducing himself and asking if they are ready to order or need a few minutes as he sets their drinks down. 

They do place their order, both getting their own pizza. Steve orders something fancy with white sauce, grilled chicken and a ton of vegetables. Bucky sticks to a meat lovers pizza. 

With the waiter leaving to place their orders, Bucky nudges Steve with his elbow. "Ready?" He asks motioning to their drinks, two waters and two shots of whiskey.

The alcohol has no affect on them but it's not wasted. The tingling on your tongue, slight burn down your throat, warmth spreading in your chest, even super soldiers can still feel that. 

They both take their shot. Steve shivers the tiniest bit as he sets his glass back on the table, Bucky grins and licks his lips.

"Tell me somethin'."

"Like what?"

"Hm, why'd you show off with your Harley at the tower even though you chose not to drive?"

That's not usually how this goes. 'Tell me something' is used to get the other person to help get you out of your own head. It's for lighthearted joking, for flirting, for talking about books or movies. And that's why Bucky asks this way. 

Steve takes a few sips of his water before answering, "Wasn't showing off. I just...wanted to see you look at me." 

Steve smiles, ducks his head and glances at Bucky. 

"You know, I look at you the same when you're doing boring shit like washing dishes or writing out mission reports."

"No you don't."

"How would you know? You're too busy to notice me." 

"Buck, I'm sor-"

"No, Steve, that's not what I meant. Don't apologize. You can't always be paying attention to me, I'm not complaining or asking for that. It's just...I used to do that, right? Look at you?"

Steve nods. "Mostly watched me sketch." He chews at his bottom lip.

"Still would of you started up again." Steve never really knows what to say to that, so Bucky keeps talking. 

"I'll always look at you like the sun shines out your ass."

Steve scrunches up his face at that and socks Bucky's left leg, can't really punch the metal arm unless he wants his hand sore for a few hours. 

With Steve still glaring at him, Bucky takes his hand and kisses his knuckles. He's not sure if Steve has ever said why, but that always makes his cheeks darken to a pretty pink. 

His metal hand is gloved in leather so he can't feel much other than pressure but it's comforting, and he's a little proud of himself, so Bucky holds Steve's hand. 

They make small chat but mostly people watch while waiting on their food. It gives Bucky a chance to decide how he's going to go about the rest of the night.

This afternoon was how they normally interact with each other. Steve let Bucky have time to play out how things used to be. It was good, really good. He knows Steve wouldn't do anything he didn't want to, but he always puts Bucky first. 

Sure he misses _his_ Steve, never thought he'd see him like this again, but it was better in the shower. They didn't do that 'back then,' and this dynamic works so much better for the both of them. 

He knows what Steve wants, Steve wants to feel in control of some part of his life, be able to let go and feel safe knowing they trust each other completely, just the same for Bucky giving himself over the Steve. Still, even though they've shifted back to their normal, Steve is hiding. 

If he doesn't want to ruin the night, which he doesn't, Bucky has to be careful. But Steve is stubborn and won't let go unless Bucky pushes. Bucky needs him to tip over. 

When their food comes they eat a few slices in silence, with having a fast metabolism they both seem to always be hungry so polite dinner conversation isn't something to be worried about when it's just them - at least they don't just shovel food in their mouths.

They are both down to half a pizza when Steve sits back with a satisfied hum, eyes closed and patting his stomach. 

Bucky laughs and finishes chewing before he asks, "Full already?"

"God no." Steve says, opening his eyes. "Just not feeling so crazed. It's really good though." 

Bucky's got his mouth full with another bite so he nods in agreement.

"How's yours? You wanna trade a slice?"

"No way. You ordered a whole chicken and a garden piled on a thin piece of bread. I already had my leafy greens today."

He gives Steve a slice of his pizza anyway, Steve eats it while smiling and making obscene noises. 

By the time they are finished with dinner the sun has set and the patio is lit with strung lights. The evening air is cool and the atmosphere cozy. After Steve wipes his hands with the napkin in his lap Bucky puts his arm around him and pulls him close.

Steve closes his eyes and hums as he settles in to Bucky's side. Bucky feels like a teenager, his stomach fluttering and his whole body lighting up at just having Steve close. It's almost enough to make him keep his mouth shut.

"You gonna tell me how you're feeling about this?"

"I'm fine, Buck." Steve answers with his eyes still closed.

"Alright." He runs his hand up and down Steve's shoulder. "What does fine feel like?"

Steve turns his face up and stares. Doesn't glare or roll his eyes or redirect. His face is calm. He shakes his head, his lips pulling the smallest bit, like Bucky dropped a joke that's too cheesy to even humor him with a laugh. Steve's is actually a good liar, but Bucky reads him like his favorite book. 

Bucky continues to lightly caress Steve's arm while they just look at each other. Steve is a bull and won't budge, so Bucky tries something else. "I can do this all day." 

Steve mouth is a straight line.

Bucky doesn't initiate touching much in public, like its engrained not to, but he keeps holding Steve. Convincing himself it's not wrong to do this to get Steve to talk, because he likes touching Steve and Steve likes it, so what's the harm? 

"Stevie." Bucky says softly while tucking hair behind Steve's ear, right hand resting high at the side of his neck. Steve immediately leans into the touch. "Please."

Steve sighs and says, "It's not the same."

Steve can lie and he can hide his emotions but he doesn't do that with Bucky. After all, your heart is where you keep your secrets. 

Still, it's not easy. If Steve shows his belly, you gotta play nice or he'll bite your hand off. Steve isn't comfortable being vulnerable, never was. 

You have to back off. If Steve opens up, you can't push him any further or he'll shut down, he has to go his own pace now. So Bucky moves his right hand from Steve's neck to lace their fingers together and waits. 

It doesn't take long. After a few moments of the chatter around them filtering through the small space, Steve speaks up. His head resting Bucky' shoulder. 

"I used to think maybe the serum would wear off, that I'd do those shows and one day I'd wake up with a yawn that turns to a cough and I'd be a foot shorter." 

Bucky has heard this before. Once during the war and another time when he needed help piecing memories together, but it's not easy.

"And then after I found you, when I told you it's permanent-" Steve takes a deep breath and shits his eyes for a moment, opening when he continues. "Everyone, almost everyone, loved Captain America but you loved me...except it wasn't the same. That's when I hated it most. You didn't treat me any different than you did in Brooklyn, that was a relief, but you didn't kiss me either. I knew what that meant."

Steve trails off before shifting to face Bucky, their hands still laced together.

"I know you love me, I do. But this isn't permanent. I saw how your face looked when I got back, the happiest I've seen you in so long. An' I don't mean that to squash everything else, all your progress, because I'm so proud of you Buck. It's just that...I'm worried that maybe you'll be disappointed when I go away again."

That's the new part. He feels like an asshole. It was nice to talk about old times, how it was before the serum and the war. But here Bucky is getting wrapped up in old sentiment while Steve wonders of Bucky will still like him.

Of course he likes Steve, he loves him. No one ever tells you how you're supposed to act in situations like this, there's no books on how to deal with coming back from the dead or your boyfriend having a body swap. 

He's got the majority of his memories back but he's still missing pieces. He has more memories of Steve as a scrawny punk than of him after the serum. It's fucking hard not to get lost in his head. But Steve deserves better, deserves Bucky's full attention. 

"You're not goin' anywhere Stevie. You're the same person. I'm in love with you, every bit. I'd love you still if the serum went away and you actually looked your age, I swear."

Steve smiles a little at that. Bucky takes Steve's hand in both of his and lightly squeezes.

" _You_ are what I love." He moves his right hand to cup Steve's cheek and kisses him. He keeps the kiss soft, meaningful, until Steve relaxes.

"I love you too." Steve says against Bucky's lips. 

They continue kissing, soft and slow, for what seems like forever. This actually might be the first time they've made out in public and Bucky can't seem to mind if anyone is staring, not when he's got Steve pressed close with his hand in his hair. Eventually they do need to come up for air.

While waiting for the check and drinks, Steve thought a last shot of whiskey would be a good idea to set the night back on course, they sit close with Steve leaning into Bucky's side and Bucky's arm around his shoulder. 

Their waiter drops off their shots and check with a smile, telling them to have a good evening. They both take the shot and leave money tucked in with the check and a tip at the table. 

The theatre isn't too far from the restaurant so they walk. They pass other restaurants and shops, stopping to look in a few windows, before cutting down an alley.

"I'm sorry if I ruined dinner."

"You didn't ruin anything. It's good we know how the other feels, right?" He smiles over at Bucky.

Bucky smiles back, glad Steve told him how he feels and seems to not be upset but Bucky still wishes he could make it better.

Steve suddenly grabs the front of Bucky's jacket and pushes him against the back wall of a building. Standing up on his toes to reach Bucky's mouth. Steve is demanding as he crashes their lips together, making Bucky wonder if Steve intends to eat him alive. 

Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's waist to pull him closer. Their lips are slick and slide together as they kiss. With one hand still bunched at the front of Bucky's jacket, Steve brings his other hand up to rub his thumb along Bucky's jaw. Getting with the program, Bucky opens his mouth to let Steve's tongue in. Bucky's mouth still tingles a bit from the last shot of whiskey but it's amplified when their tongues curl together and his body sags slightly, but it's ok, Steve's got him. 

The slight chill in the air, Steve's hot mouth against his, their tongues sliding together, the taste of whiskey on Steve's lips - and he feels 16 again -

Bucky's parents had been out to a party, his siblings already asleep for hours. Steve's mom was working nights at the hospital so he was sleeping over. They had snuck into the liquor cabinet, having done this a time before the burn wasn't enough to stop them. After a few sips they were giggling on the living room floor, talking about nothing and shushing each other to keep quiet. 

They had been rolling around and playfully shoving each other around, and that was the first time Steve ended up straddling Bucky's waist. Both too caught off guard by the change to say anything for a few moments, just staring at each other. With Steve's hands on Bucky's chest, he's sure Steve felt how fast his heart was beating.

"You gonna get off me? Don't wanna hurt you too much with wrestling Stevie." 

"Shut it, Barnes." 

"C'mon, don't be like that." Bucky licked his lips, watched as Steve tracked the movement.

"Or is that what you want? You want to wrestle?"

"I said shut it."

"Make me." Bucky smirked, shifting his hips.

And then in a blink, Steve's lips were on his. The kiss was quick, just a push of Steve's lips against his and he pulled away looking panicked.

Bucky's breath caught and his heart was hammering against his chest. His stomach twisted in a knot. Steve shouldn't look like that. Bucky's not mad but he couldn't baby Steve, so he dared him.

"That all you got?"

Steve set his jaw even has his face flared a mean blush, eyes determined like he's got something to prove. Then he crashed their mouths together.

It had hurt but Bucky smiled and he kissed back. He moved his hands to hold Steve's small waist. He licked at Steve's mouth, making him gasp, and took to opportunity to slide his tongue into Steve's mouth. He could still taste the lingering alcohol on Steve's tongue and -

Bucky moaned. 

Of course he's been aware that Steve was presently kissing him, and he was enjoying it, he just let himself steal a memory but Steve's hand on his crotch snapped him out of it. 

He rocked his hips into Steve's hand but he had moved away. Bucky whimpered as Steve also broke the kiss. 

"We're gonna miss the movie." Steve says when Bucky pouts. 

"Right. A proper date." Bucky closes his eyes to try and will away his hard on. 

"C'mon," Steve smiles as he tugs Bucky's hand.

"You're always such a tease." 

"You like it."

Bucky can't argue with that.

They continue to walk to the movie theater. 

After a few moments Bucky asks, "We didn't have sex when we were around 16, did we?" 

Steve snorts. "Me or you?" 

"Us. Do you remember my parents being at a party, you slept over and we got into the liquor cabinet."

"Oh," Steve blushes. "No, we didn't."

"But we did other stuff." Bucky says matter of factly.

It was more than that though. It was more than just hands on each other. It was more than boys being boys. It was everything and they were too dumb to know it. 

"We did." 

Instead of talking about it further Bucky just lightly squeezes Steve's hand. Steve squeezes back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it came off this way but I had sort of a hard time with this chapter. I needed Steve's feelings to be addressed but didn't want to have a full blown discussion, so date night fit...right? Lol I don't know.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all liked it. If you did, please consider leaving a comment, comments are my fav.
> 
> Maybe follow me on [Tumblr](http://kissedbifire.tumblr.com) and cry with me about Stucky <3
> 
> UPDATE: 10/01/15 I'm so glad people are loving this story, I appreciate all the comments and kudos so so so much! Every once in awhile I get someone who asks if this fic will be finished/when it will be finished so I felt the need to make this note. As you can see, this fic hasn't been updated in months. I feel awhile for leaving it but I DO plan on finishing it, I just can't say when that will be exactly.
> 
> I do have this fic plotted out and it'll be a few more chapters long when it's finished. I ended up getting massive writers block with the story though. I started to doubt whether this was a decent fic to begin with and just doubting my writing all together. I have written other fics in recent months trying to get over my writers block. 
> 
> So, again, I do plan to finished this fic but I don't have a timeline for when it will be posted. I'd like to write everything out and have it finished instead of posting as I write like I had been doing. If you'd like to subscribe to this fic and be notified when it's updated then that's great! And I can reassure you that when that happens you'll know it's finally completed. 
> 
> Anyway. I don't know if anyone will bother reading this lol but I appreciate it if you do. I just want to thank everyone again for their interest in this fic, it really means a lot to me :)


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